• Carolyn Wells

    The Flute Tutor

    A tooter who tooted a flute
    tried to tutor two tooters to toot.
    Said the two to the tooter,
    “Is it harder to toot, or
    to tutor two tooters to toot?”

  • Jack Prelutsky

    The Diatonic Dittymunch

    The Diatonic Dittymunch plucked music from the air,
    He swallowed scores of symphonies and still had space to spare.
    Sonatas and cantatas slithered sweetly down his throat;
    He made ballads into salads and consumed them note by note.

    He ate marches and mazurkas, he ate rhapsodies and reels,
    Minuets and tarantellas were the staples of his meals.
    But the Diatonic Dittymunch outdid himself one day:
    He ate a three-act opera —
    And LOUDLY passed away.

  • Mark Eckman

    I have a spelling checker
    It came with my PC
    It highlights for my review
    Mistakes I cannot sea.

    I ran this poem thru it
    I’m sure your pleased to no
    Its letter perfect in it’s weigh
    My checker told me sew.

    There are a number of different versions, extensions and derivatives of this poem that can be found; however Mark Eckman has confirmed that this is the text of his original.

  • Ogden Nash

    The Octopus

    Tell me, O Octopus, I begs
    Is those things arms, or is they legs?
    I marvel at thee, Octopus;
    If I were thou, I’d call me Us.

  • The Frog

    What a wonderful bird the frog are!
    When he stand he sit almost;
    When he hop he fly almost.
    He ain’t got no sense hardly;
    He ain’t got no tail hardly either.
    When he sit, he sit on what he ain’t got almost.

  • Lewis F Richardson

    Big Whorls Have Little Whorls

    Big whorls have little whorls
    That feed on their velocity,
    And little whorls have lesser whorls
    And so on to viscosity.

    This poem summarises Richardson’s 1920 paper ‘The supply of energy from and to Atmospheric Eddies’

  • Bernard Lamb

    There was a Neanderthal man
    Who found that is grunts didn’t scan
    This hearty meat-eater
    Invented the metre
    To prove that it certainly can

  • Shel Silverstein

    I know you little, I love you lots,
    my love for you could fill ten pots,
    fifteen buckets, sixteen cans,
    three teacups, and four dishpans.

  • Ogden Nash

    The turtle lives twixt plated decks
    Which practically conceal its sex.
    I think it clever of the turtle,
    In such a fix to be so fertile.

  • Sylvia Fine

    Pa was forced to be a hobo
    Because he played the oboe
    And the oboe it is clearly understood
    Is an ill wind that nobody blows good