• James Joyce

    People could put up with being bitten by a wolf but what properly riled them up was a bite from a sheep.

  • Charles Harper Webb

    Retreat

    Before she can deliver
    the cruncher,
    I stride away backwards

    My car door opens,
    I fall in
    as the engine fires.

    I speed home in reverse,
    unshave, unshower,
    plop down in my easy chair

    where, picturing what a good
    night it’s going to be,
    I slowly spit up

    a manhattan – dry –
    just the way
    I like it.

  • W H Auden

    I Have No Gun, But I Can Spit

    Some thirty inches from my nose
    The frontier of my Person goes,
    And all the untilled air between
    Is private pagus or demesne.
    Stranger, unless with bedroom eyes
    I beckon you to fraternize,
    Beware of rudely crossing it:
    I have no gun, but I can spit.

  • Giuseppe Peano

    Peano Axioms of the Natural Numbers

    1. 0 is a number.
    2. The immediate successor of a number is also a number.
    3. 0 is not the immediate successor of any number.
    4. No two numbers have the same immediate successor.
    5. Any property belonging to 0 and to the immediate successor of any number that also has that property belongs to all numbers.

  • Charles E Carryl

    The Sleepy Giant

    My age is three hundred and seventy-two,
    And I think, with the deepest regret,
    How I used to pick up and voraciously chew
    The dear little boys whom I met.
    I’ve eaten them raw, in their holiday suits;
    I’ve eaten them curried with rice;
    I’ve eaten them baked, in their jackets and boots,
    And found them exceedingly nice.
    But now that my jaws are too weak for such fare,
    I think it exceedingly rude
    To do such a thing, when I’m quite well aware
    Little boys do not like being chewed.

    And so I contentedly live upon eels,
    And try to do nothing amiss,
    And I pass all the time I can spare from my meals
    In innocent slumber — like this.