• Simon Goodway

    Octopusses

    I don’t know what the fuss is,
    Cooking’s easy if you try.
    Just take two octopusses
    And you’ve got an octopi.

  • Douglas Adams

    …Sir Isaac Newton, renowned inventor of the milled-edge coin and the catflap!” “The what?” said Richard. “That catflap! A device of the utmost cunning, perspicuity and invention. It is a door within a door, you see, a …” “Yes,” said Richard, “there was also the small matter of gravity.” “Gravity,” said Dirk with a slightly dismissed shrug, “yes, there was that as well, I suppose. Though that, of course, was merely a discovery. It was there to be discovered.” … “You see?” he said dropping his cigarette butt, “They even keep it on at weekends. Someone was bound to notice sooner or later. But the catflap … ah, there is a very different matter. Invention, pure creative invention. It is a door within a door, you see.”

  • Tennessee Williams

    Success is blocked by concentrating on it and planning for it…
    Success is shy – it won’t come out while you’re watching.

  • H L Mencken

    When A annoys or injures B on the pretense of saving or improving X, A is a scoundrel.

  • G H Hardy

    It is never worth a first class man’s time to express a majority opinion. By definition, there are plenty of others to do that.

  • Bhaskarachary

    Mathematical Problem

    Whilst making love a necklace broke.
    A row of pearls mislaid.
    One sixth fell to the floor.
    One fifth upon the bed.
    The young woman saved one third of them.
    One tenth were caught by her lover.
    If six pearls remained upon the string
    How many pearls were there altogether?

  • Bede

    The present life of man, O king, seems to me, in comparison of that time which is unknown to us, like to the swift flight of a sparrow through the room wherein you sit at supper in winter, with your commanders and ministers, and a good fire in the midst, whilst the storms of rain and snow prevail abroad; the sparrow, I say, flying in at one door, and immediately out at another, whilst he is within, is safe from the wintry storm; but after a short space of fair weather, he immediately vanishes out of your sight, into the dark winter from which he had emerged. So this life of man appears for a short space, but of what went before, or what is to follow, we are utterly ignorant. If, therefore, this new doctrine contains something more certain, it seems justly to deserve to be followed.

    Advice Bede says was given to King Edwin

  • Roger Bacon

    There are in fact four very different stumbling blocks in the way of grasping the truth, which hinder every man however learned, and scarcely allow anyone to win a clear title to wisdom, namely, the example of weak and unworthy authority, longstanding custom, the feeling of the ignorant crowd, and the hiding of our own ignorance while making a display of our apparent knowledge.

  • J B S Haldane

    An inordinate fondness for beetles

    In reply to the question what he believed could concluded from his study of the natural world as to the nature of the creator

  • Carlos Castaneda

    It is important to do what you don’t know how to do. It is important to see your skills as keeping you from learning what is deepest and most mysterious. If you know how to focus, unfocus. If your tendency is to make sense out of chaos, start chaos.

  • John Fuller

    Two Voices

    Love is a large hope in what,
    Unfound, imaginary, leaves us
    With a beautifying presence.
    Love always grieves us.’

    So sang youth to the consenting air
    While age in deathly silence, thus:

    ‘Love is a regret for what,
    Lost or never was, assails us
    With a beautifying presence.
    Love never fails us.’

  • Shel Silverstein

    It’s Dark in Here I am writing these poems From inside a lion, And it’s rather dark in here. So please excuse the handwriting Which may not be too clear. But this afternoon by the lion’s cage I’m afraid I got too near. And I’m writing these lines From inside a lion, And it’s rather dark in here.

  • Richard Feynman

    On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics Statement after an introduction to theoretical physicists mentioning that he played bongo drums

  • John Robert Colombo

    Canada could have enjoyed: English government, French culture, And American know-how. Instead it ended up with: English know-how, French government, And American culture.

  • Rudyard Kipling

    Night-Song in the Jungle Now Chil the Kite brings home the night That Mang the Bat sets free. The herds are shut in byre and hut – For loosed till dawn are we. This is the hour of pride and power, Talon and tush and claw. O hear the call! Good Hunting, All That keep the Jungle Law!

  • P G Wodehouse

    of a character who is suffering from a hangover … the noise of the cat stamping about in the passage outside caused him exquisite discomfort.

  • John Dretschmer

    Upon the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions, who when on the dawn of victory paused to rest, and there resting died.